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Thanks baby for giving me (and you) a second chance for this relationship. I noe where it went wrong. Im really sorry. I noe sorry doesnt cure much, i will prove it to you that im sincerely gg to change this princess temer away. ***cross-fingers do have some faith and believe in me please. I just couldnt bear to let go of you or let go of us. I love you, really love. No matter how hurtful words i have told you, i doesnt mean it. Its just a moment of anger. Im sorry, sincere sorries. You noe how much you stand inside my little heart? muacks dui bu qi, wo ai ni

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Hi everybody (Thereapos;s really no one who follows my journal -.-;) So. I went to Homecoming with a super-cute guy named Kevin, and we had fun, and he poked me with a safety pin all night long XD He would like touch my leg and I would be like apos;Your hands are cooooldapos; and he would laugh and then like touch my arm or something.

I needed a jacket xP

My dress was really pretty...an ivory dress with like tiers and all. For some reason, I dreamed I was wearing it over my jeans last night...0_o

I also dreamed I got my belly button pierced. It was awesome. Iapos;ve been wanting to pierce it for a while, and my best friend is getting hers pierced, so maybe the dream was a sign...

Ok, bored of writing. C-ya

~Rei

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After a few beers in school the guest teacher who is in his right a pretty big international star said "look, iapos;ve been on crack for a month and now iapos;ve been clean for a week so how about some heroin?". Me and a boy called M took him on the back of our bikes and made the long ride to the red light district where we marched up to the church and asked the freestyle crowd for a turkish woman called Laila, turned out Laila was off on her own adventures and anyway she only sold crack. But Paul was shooting heroin on the steps around the corner and it took him a long time, the blood trickled out around the needle as he went off on the usual junkie rant hating on everything except for heroin. M is a nice boy so finally i said "Look Paul, youapos;re gonna help us or not?" and Paul took us over to the shelter where a more worn down junkie led M into the building. The teacher said the red light part of town made him nervous which made me laugh cause all his pictures are of him fucking crack whores in bad motels. When M came out looking a bit pale the teacher took us to a bar and gave us gin. When mine was empty i drank his cause i figured he was set up for the night and I had my own habits to nurture. In the end he told me he had bought a house in France, without windows or doors and as it turns out it was mostly made for animals which of course led me to ask if i could live in it. He said if i promised only to use it in the warm seasons I could do whatever i wanted so I made him write down the address and his phone number. I offered to put a floor in on the first floor or hammer up a door but he said I shouldnapos;t lift a finger, then he added he wanted to set it up with his four children and i said "that sounds great but itapos;s never gonna happen" and he confirmed with silence. So Iapos;m pretty sure as soon as it gets warm Iapos;ll go live in his house in the dust fields of mid france. Then he disappeared and I fought with some people in the street and went home to sleep.

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Hello loves.
i fail at life.
iapos;ve had a horrible weak of...
eating.
ugh.
i saw the scale and just about cried.
liquid fasted today.
same thing for tomorrow.
i also just realized,
that i canapos;t have a relationship with this one guy...
because iapos;m afraid heapos;ll figure out my ED.
and i donapos;t want it to effect him.
i donapos;t want to be a mistake to him.
like i am to everyone else.

xoxoxoxox

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